Almost 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce, according to a report by Divorce Statistics. Many people think that they may have made a wrong decision and that the next marriage would be more successful. However, statistics reveal a totally different story. While the divorce rate for first marriages in America lies between 41% and 50%, that for the second marriage jumps to between 60% and 67% and further increases to 73%-74% for the third marriage.
The impact of a divorce is not limited to the couples involved. The children of divorced couples are more prone to going through a divorce as well. In fact, the probability is four times higher than the children of couples living together.
Among the most common causes of separation is anger, with either one or both partners unable to handle this ravaging emotion. Of course, we all understand the value of a relationship; but often are unaware of how to deal with anger. If you believe you are losing your cool often, there are a few tips that may help you:
Lack of communication can breed misunderstandings, which can ruin the best of relationships. In fact, it is one of the leading causes of divorce. Anger often leads to one person blaming the other and the other becoming increasingly defensive. If there’s something that your spouse is doing that angers you, talk about a solution, rather than repeatedly announcing the problem.
Understand the Issues
Better communication helps both partners gain an improved understanding of the issues. It is natural to react badly when we don’t understand something. In fact, we tend to get angry before understanding the whole problem. Avoid jumping to conclusions about your partner’s actions. Remind yourself to be patient and to hear your partner out. Also remind yourself to not subject your partner to releasing your frustration with work on something else.
Learn Self Control
Anger is never a solution. It will only make matters worse. If you genuinely wish to sort out issues with your spouse, you need to exercise self-control. Remind yourself to be calm and not raise your voice, even during an argument. If you feel that your anger is welling up, divert your mind from what is frustrating you. Once you are calm, you can get back to the discussion. Also, remember to listen to your partner’s point of view.
Anger management is not easy, but sometimes necessary. It’s best to seek professional help, and feel better about yourself and the situation you are in. According to psychotherapist Linda Charnes, a little professional help can go a long way in making life easier, and relationships more satisfying.
Remember saying, ‘Until death do us part’? Control your temper, and show that you meant what you said!