Give Up or Give In: Coping with a Difficult Marriage

About half of all marriages in the US end up in divorce. According to statistics revealed by Smart Stepfamilies, one-third of the people who got divorced in 2008 were breaking up their next marriage by 2010. By 2014, the country had 42 million people who had been remarried and an additional 36 million who were either divorced or widowed, and would possibly remarry in future.

The reduced life of marriages has also forced a major population of the country to live with their partners without tying the knot. Unfortunately, even these people are not always in a completely satisfied relationship.

The fact that 10% of the women have three or more marriages, divorces or cohabiting partners by the time they turn 35 only goes to show that people need to learn better ways of making relationships work.

Factors that Affect Relationships

Rising expectations from one’s partners increases the burden on the spouse to fulfill them, according to Linda Charnes, a therapist with more than 20 years of experience in providing marriage and couples counselling services in New York City.

The spouses are not only expected to be a partner in terms of household responsibilities but to also play the role of friend, counselor and support mechanism, while taking an active part in their partner’s areas of interest. This only adds to the stress and strain in a relationship.

What Leads to a Failed Relationship?

  • Addiction: Most people get to know about their partner’s drinking and/or smoking habits only after they get into a relationship.
  • Career and Employment: When your passion for work almost turns into obsession and you start spending less time with your loved ones, problems are likely to arise.
  • Infidelity: Trust is the building block of a successful relationship and infidelity can eat away at the foundation.

How to Deal with it?

To begin with, rethink your expectations from marriage. For example, accept the fact that your partner might not have all the same interests as you. So, you need to find common ground. Value your relationship and don’t give up too easily if there are conflicts.

Start investing more time and effort in healing a disturbed relationship. Instead of spending more time, try to spend quality time. If there is an argument, think with a cool mind instead of saying things in the heat of the moment that you might regret later.

The key to a successful relationship is patience. Remember, it is easy to give up but to hold on takes courage.

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