Have you discovered your partner has been unfaithful?
Has your partner uncovered your infidelity?
If you are on this page, you are most likely looking for help with the crisis of infidelity in your relationship. Therefore, you are responding to a traumatizing event. At this time of crisis, you may well alternate from a determined and resolute decision to end the relationship to a desperate panic of longing to save your relationship and feel once again close to your partner.
There are very common ways people experience an infidelity:
- Most likely you are experiencing overwhelming emotions, or you may be disconnected from your feelings.
- Things may feel out of control, your feelings may vacillate from one intense emotion to the other.
- You might feel vengeful, desperate or hopeless.
- You no longer know what to expect of yourself or from your partner.
- You may feel you have lost your sense of order, fairness, and justice in the world.
- You might be experiencing a blow to your self-esteem, your confidence, and your identity.
- You may feel you have lost your faith, trust, and love.
- You cannot make sense of how the person you most loved and trusted could have done this to you.
- You are unhappy and lost.
The definition of infidelity is complex. What is considered a betrayal varies among couples and even between partners in any relationship. Partners have different ways of experiencing life and defining its events.
The impact of infidelity on your relationship is devastating. But one of the most difficult parts of healing from its impact involves considering that infidelity is a symptom of a problem between the two of you. As difficult as it might be to admit, both partners have played a role in creating the emotional conditions that resulted in the affair. These are not excuses, nor do they condone this choice in coping. While recovering from the impact of the affair itself is paramount, understanding how your relationship became vulnerable to infidelity is a necessary part of the healing. The affair can be seen as a means to bring the truth to light.
This crisis can be a turning point. Things will never be the same between the two of you. The relationship is forever changed. The goal is not just to go back to the way things were. Instead, things need to change in order to deepen and expand yourself and your relationship. It is possible to survive this trauma and become stronger, both as individuals and as a couple. It may take the trauma of infidelity to break of out of the old mold and create something beautiful. You have a chance to create something new and better than you had before, feeling more connected, accepted, and loved.
In our work together, we’ll get to the root of how this could have happened and make the necessary changes to assist you create a loving and joyful relationship. We’ll use this terrible, painful experience as a vehicle for growth.
My infidelity work involves, with your commitment to exploring the truth about your relationship:
Stage 1 - Assessing the relationship status and creating a plan of action
Stage 2 – Expressing yourselves and managing emotions and needs
Stage 3 – Exploring history and relationship dynamics to gain understanding of what happened that made the relationship vulnerable
Stage 4 – Doing repair and rebuilding trust
Stage 5 – Working through personal and relationship issues, and creating a new relationship
Reworking a relationship after infidelity isn’t easy, but neither is ending one. Whether you stay together or part, you will benefit from examining what happened in your relationship and how you both contributed to it. Even if you separate, having gone through this process, you will know and understand yourself better, decreasing the chances of repeating unhealthy patterns in a future relationship. My goal is to help you develop consciousness for a happier future.