Marriage Counseling - Linda Charnes, LMFT

Marriage Counseling

“Until death do us part” might be something we swear to, completely meaning it from the bottom of our heart but there are times when a marriage can seem the exact opposite of a fairytale. The happily ever after doesn’t just happen, it has to be created. This is where a good marriage counselor can be your best friend.

With more than 20 years of experience in marriage counseling, the most important thing I can tell you is that things don’t resolve themselves and most of us cannot live life and tackle each of its challenges alone. A little professional help can go a long way in making life easier, and relationships more satisfying.

Have you been having communication problems of late?
Do you find that your conversations usually end up in a fight?
Have you been contemplating or having an affair?
Do you suspect him/her of having been unfaithful?
Do you feel that you are in the relationship only because of the children?

There are several signs that tell when it is the right time to seek marriage counselling.

Signs that You Need Marriage Therapy

There might be times when you have felt that the only way to resolve the problems in your life is to get a divorce or leave your partner. Before things reach this situations, there are always signs that tell you it is time to talk to a marriage counselor.

The first important sign is deteriorating communication. When your conversations end with you feeling disregarded, depressed or angry or when you feel like withdrawing from conversations, things are not all right in the relationship. This also includes nonverbal communication, including the tone, facial expressions and body language.

Suspicions of infidelity can be extremely difficult to cope with. On the other hand, moving on from an affair, forgiving and forgetting, can be even tougher. This is where marriage counseling can help. If you want to give your relationship a second chance, use the marriage therapy process, be honest about your feelings and move toward a healthier relationship.

If the two of you seem to have withdrawn from each other, so much so that it has affected your sexual life and you seem to merely co-exist in the same space, you should seek help. This situation does not mean that everything between the two of you has ended. It just means that some things need to be worked through for the spark to be rekindled in the relationship.

If there have been times when you withhold affection as a means of punishing your partner, if you have been seeing your spouse as an antagonist more often than not, if you have started keeping secrets, if you’ve been financially unfaithful such that you’ve either taken over control of money or not shared about your spending, if you feel that everything will get better if he/she just changes, if there have been significant changes in your sex life, if you seem to be arguing over every little thing, you know that you need to do something before things fall apart.

Remember, the two of you fell in love and built dreams together. Therefore, this relationship definitely deserves a second chance. The best way to give it this chance is within a safe, supportive and nonjudgmental environment that allows you to explore solutions together. This is exactly what marriage counseling offers you.