Unfortunately, Americans have managed to maintain a pretty constant rate of infidelity over the past two decades, where 21% of married men admitted that that they had cheated on their wives, as compared to 10%-15% of married women, according to the general social survey published by The New York Times. In fact, a 2015 article on 24/7 Wall Street listed New York and Boston among the top 10 cities with the most adultery in the United States.
Infidelity in a marriage or committed relationship puts a severe strain on the relationship as well as the individuals involved, where one partner’s affair or even a hint of cheating leaves the other person feeling devastated, alone, jealous, confused, and betrayed.
1. The Ripple Effect
In the moment that you decided to cheat on your partner, did you think of the ripple effect it would have on life when you get caught? The effect of an individual’s unfaithfulness on their spouse’s life as a whole, is termed as the ripple effect, according to Relationship Psychology. Following the affair, the victims of adultery start looking at their life, work, friends, along with many other life choices, in a different way. As a matter of fact, a single act of unfaithfulness can damage the core of the person who is being cheated on, making infidelity counseling a must for them.
2. Why Did It Happen to Me?
This is one question they will keep on asking themselves, for which they will never get an answer. The partner goes into shock, trying to take in what has happened, while trying to understand the root cause.
Your infidelity actions can make them feel like a failure. They will keep looking for reason why you replaced them with someone else. They start feeling that they might be lacking something instead of viewing the cause of the cheating as difficult changes you might be going through with work and everyday life challenges. They will eventually ask themselves why they ever trusted you.
Make the Crisis a Turning Point in Both of Your Lives
It is true that after an act of unfaithfulness by either partner, things will not remain the same between the two of you for a long time. No apology will be sufficient at this time. However, it is possible to survive this trauma, with some support. Life always gives you a second chance to create something new and better than what you both had before, where you can feel more connected, accepted and loved.
Infidelity counseling gets to the root of things, looking for possible reasons for how this could have happened, so that necessary changes can be made by the couple to start over again, says psychotherapist Linda Charnes, a couples counselor in New York.
It is difficult to overcome broken trust in a relationship. The best course of action is to seek a professional who can help you work through things.