The best thing you can do when your marriage seems to be on the rocks is to choose the best couples therapist to fix the problem. And if you are among the sceptics who wonder whether couples therapy actually works, it does.
According to data published by Statistic Brain, 65% of couples have reported significant improvement in their relationship after marriage counselling, while 50% of the couples were able to maintain their improved relationship even after two years of counselling.
Couples therapists are not magicians who can instantly bring that spark back in your relationships and make everything alright. But, they do have the knowledge and skills to help couples discover what is going wrong and the best way to solve the issue. Counsellors, therefore, work to change the couple’s perception of their relationship, decrease emotional avoidance, modify dysfunctional behaviour, promote individual strengths, and improve communication, says an article on Psychology Today.
If you too have been facing relationship problems and want to know if couples therapy has the potential to resolve them, here are three signs you should look for during the session.
3 Signs of a Good Couples Therapist
Uses Evidence-Based Couples Therapy: Marriage and family therapists specialize in working with all types of relationships and therapy forms. However, not all forms work for everyone. Therapists usually have a proven track record of working with specific types of relationship issues. They use their learning from various cases to determine which approach will actually work for you, given your circumstances, says Linda Charnes, a leading psychotherapist in New York.
Helps to Set Goals: A couple’s therapy session is of no use, unless the therapist is able to identify the relationship goals that need to be worked on. Do not be worried if one or two therapy sessions are used for just establishing the groundwork. Setting goals requires highly detailed and transparent communication so that the therapist is able to understand the potential problems and approaches that can be used to repair these problems.
Easy to Talk To: As mentioned earlier, couple’s therapy requires open communication between the couple and the therapist. However, not all couples are comfortable enough to freely discuss sensitive matters with their counsellor, which is vital to the therapy sessions. Many couples resist revealing their opinions out of fear of being judged. For this reason, the marriage counsellor should be easy to talk to and have good listening skills. The therapist should be able to make the couples feel safe and willing to express themselves truly.
Although the best couples therapist is committed to helping couples find solutions that can make their marriage better, the results are not immediate. It will take time and effort from you too.