As of 2018, the United States recorded the sixth highest divorce rate in the world, with a marriage breaking up every 13 seconds! This is what a report by Wilkinson & Finkbeiner had to say. Such shocking statistics only leave us wondering how to keep the relationship stable for a lifetime.
Couples counselors can offer great help and support when things seem to go wrong in a relationship. Here’s a look at what a counselor wants you to know.
1. Not One Person’s Fault
Most therapists will tell you right in the beginning that the blame game is not a good practice. Neither is taking the blame upon yourself. Both partners contribute to arguments and discord. Therefore, it is hardly ever the fault of only one person and there’s no point feeling excessively guilty.
2. Why You Both Are Together
A couples counselor will remind you that both partners are together due to a bond of love. What brought your close, why you are fond of each other and why you must continue to work upon your relationship are the main focus of couple’s therapy. Therapists can help you work through misunderstandings and conflicts in a realistic, collaborative and goal-oriented manner, says Linda Charnes, a leading couples therapist in NYC.
3. Arguing can be Good, at Times
As surprising as it might sound, arguing once in a while is a sign of a healthy relationship. When you keep things within yourself, you continue to hold grudges. You might lash out suddenly, resulting in a big fight and harsh words that cannot be taken back. A healthy argument involves controlling your words and emotions and making your points heard for the best outcome.
4. Physical Intimacy is a Cure
Love and affection are important in a relationship and re-establishing sexual activities can save couples from drifting apart. In fact, simple acts like kissing and hugging can contribute to overall well being, says an article on Greater Good Magazine. Take some time to rekindle your sexual life with your partner to strengthen the bond in the relationship.
5. Growing and Changing is the Secret
The secret to a strong bond is growing together and accepting the changes that come with time. Instead of focusing on how it used to be, remember that every relationship is bound to change over time. There is no point staying stuck in the past because you need to go with the flow.
Make sure you choose a couples counselor who would be more of a friend to you and help both of you regain the lost trust and happiness.