
Most of my calls about infidelity are from husbands who have been discovered cheating on their wives. While the circumstances of the extramarital relationship vary considerably– ranging from single moments of indiscretion to multi-year affairs with a friend of the family– the call for help is the same. If you are in a similar situation, this likely describes your circumstances as well.
Typically, the affair has been discovered by accident, not intentionally revealed. Perhaps you left your phone unlocked, or your computer unattended and logged in. Your wife stumbles on the truth and is devastated.
You have likely been up all night for a few days listening to your wife cycle through disbelief, rage, and deep hurt. Maybe you’ve been cycling between panic, denial, and an earnest effort to convince her that things are not as bad as they seem.
The one truth you see crystal clear is this: despite your undeniable betrayal by cheating, you want her to understand that you never meant to end the marriage.
Despite how dire things feel, I can reassure you that this doesn’t have to be the end. In my many years of clinical experience working with couples, I have noticed a common path for couples who are able to recover from cheating and infidelity.
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