Though it’s easy to get caught up in practical matters, don’t forget that joy is the purpose of life. A marriage where the partners do diverse and interesting activities together leads to more intimacy and engagement.

Below you will find 12 date night ideas that can help you and your partner bond, have fun, and rekindle the romantic spirit.

1. Visit a zoo or botanical garden

Zoos and botanical gardens are great dates for couples who enjoy nature. A walk through a botanical garden, enjoying fragrant flowers and interesting plants can help to slow the pace and provide time to talk. Similarly, zoo animals provide fodder for observational sharing, a great, low-pressure way to connect. Getting into nature can be a great way to share a peaceful time together.

[Read more…] about 12 Date Nights to Rekindle Romance

I’m sometimes asked, “What brings people to couple’s therapy?” 

Certainly, the most common complaint is around conflict. Some couples struggle with ongoing arguments, heated tempers, or issues of betrayal that need to be resolved for the relationship to thrive.  

But there is another kind of couple I regularly see in my practice. 

These are couples in stable and collaborative relationships that simply have no spark. 

[Read more…] about How to know if your marriage is “good enough”

Life will always be complicated. 

And 

Life will always be miraculously simple. 

So much of how we experience our lives comes down to what we choose to focus on.

Imagine this scenario:  You just parked your car on the street near your office. Without looking, you open your car door, your mind full of your upcoming meetings and things you need to do.  Unexpectedly, a bike messenger slams into the open car door, and tumbles to the ground.

This situation is both complicated and simple. 

[Read more…] about Choosing to Experience More Peace

Even the happiest couples have arguments, and for some couples, those arguments can escalate and become destructive. If you find that your arguments sometimes result in:

• Explosive yelling
• Dragging past issues into the current argument
• Passive aggressive or emotional manipulation 
• Denying the other person’s experience (gaslighting)
• Blaming the other person or avoiding responsibility

You might need some strategies for arguing from a place of love, instead of a place of destruction.  

Below you will find eight starting points to help you fight from a place of love.

[Read more…] about How to argue better in a relationship

Names of all clients have been changed.

Many couples come into therapy because their sex life has fizzled out. Sometimes one partner is avoiding, sometimes the only sex is obligatory, and sometimes neither party is interested. In all cases, a drought in the marriage bed is a concern for the long-term happiness of either partner.

Sex is an important part of adult love because it is a physical expression of the emotional connection. Sex provides natural stress relief, is a way to experience intimacy, and is an important means of exploring each other and the relationship.  

As counter-intuitive as it might sound, a marriage without enough intimacy is not usually because of sex.  It is, instead, reflective of unresolved issues in the relationship itself. 

[Read more…] about Three reasons your partner doesn’t want to have sex with you that have nothing to do with sex