Among the worst feelings one can have is finding out that your significant other has been unfaithful. Infidelity can have grave consequences on the relationship, as well as the individuals. But, in the end, if you still love them, you can always find a way to make it work. The first step is to decide whether you can move forward from the instance of cheating, forgive and forget and rebuild the relationship. If not, it could be a nagging problem that continues to plague you.
If you have decided to give your partner or spouse another chance, then commit to it. The road ahead is going to be difficult, but with both of you working on it and with the support of an experience psychotherapist, you can make it work.
In the meantime, here are 5 tips to rebuilding your relationship after infidelity.
1. Sincere Apology
A betrayal leads to great stress, even depression, and a breakdown of the trust built over a long period of time. The partner who has been unfaithful needs to acknowledge the damage and hurt they have caused. With this realization, the person needs to sincerely and honestly apologize to their partner, without making any excuses.
2. Infidelity Counseling
Infidelity can destroy a relationship, and sometimes, however hard you may try on your own, you can’t seem to succeed. In such cases, infidelity counseling can be very helpful for couples, guiding them to work through their personal and relationship issues and creating a new relationship, according to an article by Linda Charnes, LMFT.
3. Taking Responsibility
Taking ownership of your actions is of utmost importance, since it tells your partner that you have realized you have been dishonest in your actions. It helps understand the reason for your infidelity, making it less likely to be repeated in the future.
4. Open Communication
Communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Both need to be able to tell each other about their desires, preferences and feelings. With honest communication, each person can convey whether they are feeling unloved or dissatisfied in the relationship. A study revealed that those whose spouses were honest felt emotionally better and more reconciled, according to an article on Reader’s Digest.
Rebuilding a relationship is not a quick process. It takes time, patience and effort. Your partner needs to feel that you can be trusted once again. Credibility is only built over time, slowly, with your actions and words, by making your partner feel that you are reliable and serious about the relationship.
With over 41% of marriages seeing one or both spouses admitting to infidelity, being unfaithful is more common than you might think, says an article by CNN. If you find yourself in such a situation, it might be a good idea to seek counseling before you decide on how to proceed.