Do you find yourself looking for reasons to be miserable even when life is going extremely well? Do you prefer to play the victim role? Instead of taking responsibility for your choices, do you constantly blame others for your fate? Do you have a dramatic and unfulfilling relationship? Then, it is very likely that you are a chronically unhappy person.
Unhappiness is fueled by pessimism, where most negative thoughts tend to be irrational. Without the individual realizing it, pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Since, a chronically unhappy person expects only bad things for themselves, they are more likely to attract bad things too.
Leading psychotherapist and marriage counselor in New York, Linda Charnes says that a chronically unhappy individual will most likely have unhappy relationships as well. They might often find it difficult to confront their issues, which then lead to stress and unresolved relationship problems.
Choosing Unhappiness When You Can be Happy
According the2017 Harris Poll Survey of American Happiness, shared exclusively with TIME, 67% of the Americans surveyed reported being unhappy. Worries about finances, frustration related to careers and more were keeping a large number of Americans from feeling content. However, there might be also be people who have opted to run away from their troubles, instead of facing them head-on, in a bid to find happiness or remain happy.
It is said, “Happiness is a choice, you cannot choose what happens, but you can choose your reaction to it and be happy.” So, why do some people choose unhappiness when they have all the reasons to be happy? There could be several reasons for this. It could be a deep-rooted insecurity, lack of self esteem, extreme parental pressure during childhood, lifelong struggle with trauma or even an underlying health problem.
Impact of Chronic Unhappiness on Relationships
Even when chronically unhappy people experience happiness, they avoid being happy, believing that it is of no use celebrating today, when life will once again throw worries at them. The impact of such unhappiness is immediately seen on their relationships, keeping their partner worried and depriving the relationship of the happiness it deserves.
A chronically unhappy person will often see or portray themselves as the victim, no matter what the situation is. They feel helpless most of the time, which further restricts them from taking action to make things better for themselves and their spouse, says an article on The Huffington Post.
If you or your partner seem to be experiencing chronic unhappiness, the best thing to do is to seek out a marriage counselor to find ways to overcome this attitude. Seeking professional help can be a good way to learn how to replace negative and pessimistic thoughts with positive, helpful ones.