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LINDA CHARNES, LMFT

Individual and Couple Psychotherapy and Counseling in New York City

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Premarital Therapy and Counseling

What is premarital counseling?

Premarital counseling or therapy is typically offered by a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) trained in psychotherapy and family systems.

Premarital therapy can provide an open and honest forum to discuss:

  • Whether marriage is right for you and whether right now is the right time
  • Important issues that contribute to a long and healthy marriage, such as lifestyle, finances, sex, children, and career
  • The inevitable anxieties or disagreements that arise during wedding planning
  • Common pitfalls that occur when you join your life to another

Seeking therapy before marriage can help couples ensure a long, happy, healthy marriage.

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Who should see a premarital therapist?

Premarital therapy can benefit every couple:

  • Couples who have been together for many years and those who are in a relatively new relationship
  • Straight couples, gay couples, and everything in between
  • Couples with children between them and those who plan to have children together
  • Couples on their first marriage and couples on their second, third, or fourth marriage

Therapy provides a safe environment to discuss critical issues that will help you build a life together. I will help you create a lifelong habit of honest discourse that will benefit your marriage forever.

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premarital counseling nyc

What happens during premarital therapy?

Premarital therapy is a unique opportunity to surface each partner's thoughts about the relationship and marriage in an environment of support. It might seem contradictory as you move toward your wedding day to share concerns you might have about the person with whom you've agreed to share your life. However, even when you are madly in love, it is natural to wonder about your future with your intended. It is best to work through these concerns before your wedding day.

As your therapist, it's my job to facilitate this honest discussion.  This will not only help you explore issues as you plan your wedding, but it will provide a foundation of trust and a habit of communication that will serve your marriage well for years.

Premarital therapy is always responsive to the unique needs of the couple, but here are a few common issues that are commonly discussed:

do we need premarital counseling?
How does each partner view marriage? Expand

Everyone comes into this union with ideas and beliefs about what marriage is.  It can be surprising to realize that your beliefs and your partner's beliefs aren't exactly alike! In premarital therapy, we will explore your familial history and your expectations of marriage.

Money Expand

Money can be fertile ground for conflict in a marriage. Perhaps one partner prefers to save while the other tends to spend more freely. Maybe one partner works, while the other is in school or plans to stay home. These differences, if they aren't surfaced and discussed, can create misunderstandings and resentments. It is helpful to talk through financial habits and beliefs before marriage.

We will talk about sex Expand

Sex is a healthy part of a marriage, and intimacy between partners is a significant bond in a long-term monogamous relationship. And yet, sex can be difficult to talk about for anyone. It may be especially troubling to discuss if there is a history of sexual trauma or inhibitions from childhood. The good news is that physical intimacy can be a bedrock of your marriage when you are able to discuss it more freely. I can help you do this through our premarital therapy sessions.

Open Communication and Honest Discussion Expand

The foundation of every great relationship is communication.  Having someone who will support us, argue with us, negotiate for us, and celebrate with us, are the very reason we want to get married. But, the ability to speak honestly, listen actively, and communicate well takes skill and practice.  We will explore how to develop these skills in your relationship so you can love each other fully.

Children Expand

Whether you want a family is a personal decision... until you get married. Then, it becomes a decision that neither partner can make on their own. Instead, it must be jointly agreed upon, and both partners must be comfortable with it. It is critical that you discuss your interests and desires for a family (or not) and ensure that you are both in agreement and comfortable with your choice ahead of your marriage.

You don't just marry your fiancé; you marry the whole family Expand

Families are complicated, and no two families are alike. When two families merge, complications may arise. These can be less significant complications, like figuring out how to split the holidays, or more impactful complications, such as when an in-law doesn't support the marriage. In every case, the couple must be willing to communicate honestly and problem-solve as a team to support synergy between your family of origin and your newly created family.

Is this the right person for me?

You may find yourself wondering: "is this person right for me?"

This is not an unusual concern but shouldn't be ignored! Instead, give yourself and your future marriage the gift of a place to discuss and resolve these concerns. Premarital counseling is structured to uncover problem areas and create a healthy environment for open discussion. The answer to the question, "Is this person right for me?" will become evident throughout the process.

To be clear, this question is not only for bright-eyed young couples! Premarital therapy provides a safe haven for:

  • Couples who are entering a new marriage when one or both have been previously married
  • Couples with a complicated history who are trying again or have overcome a betrayal
  • Long-distance relationships for couples considering marriage
  • Couples planning to blend two families who are navigating prior partners and shared custody

Premarital therapy can help every couple land on the same page before their marriage.

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CONTACT ME

1619 Third Avenue, Suite 3 Entrance on 91st Street New York, NY,
10128 212-772-1695     info@lindacharnes.com

I do not accept insurance, but my services are eligible for out of network reimbursement.

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