Why It is Best Not to Expect a Fairy-Tale Marriage

When Prince Harry exchanged vows with Meghan Markle on May 19 in front of 600 guests at St. George’s Chapel in Windsor, England, the whole world watched in awe. Did you know that according to Nielsen, 29.2 million people in the United States tuned in to watch Harry and Meghan say their “I Dos,” while 18 million people in the United Kingdom tuned in to watch the royal wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, according to The Guardian. Additionally, 3.4 million tweets were sent during the ceremony, only highlighting how much the world loves a fairy-tale wedding.

Prince Harry’s romantic gestures during one of the most iconic weddings in history stole the show. To ensure that his new bride felt his love as she walked down the aisle, some flowers which were hand-picked from their private garden at Kensington Palace by Prince Harry himself, were included in Meghan’s bouquet.

Fairy Tales Raise Expectations

At that moment, without a doubt, many female hearts were hoping that they themselves would have just such a fairy-tale wedding, followed by their own “happily ever after.” Most of our childhood is surrounded by fairy tales and Disney movies, with many of us growing up believing in the possibility of finding a similar happy ending in our real lives too.

Unfortunately, believing too strongly in fairy tales can lead to some serious disappointments, since most people will be unable to live up to the image that fairy tales conjure of a perfect lover or spouse. Having such unrealistic expectations is a major reason for many marriages ending up in separation and/or divorce, says Linda Charnes, a leading marriage counselor in New York.

Write Your Own Fairy Tale

An article by Psychology Today states, “The best way to discover the wisdom of fairy tales is to write your own.” People don’t know Harry and Meghan, but we’d like to think that their marriage is filled with sharing, caring, and an ample amount of love. This is all great to presume, but is definitely not the final scene of the story.

Take any fairy tale, be it Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, or even Beauty and the Beast, and you will see that it does tend to have a princess effect on girls, and many start expecting to find a “soulmate” or “Mr. Right” for themselves. However, marriage is something that needs to be worked on to ensure a strong bond and a fulfilling life of togetherness.

It is only through consciously working on the relationship, caring for yourself and your partner, making sure to never take the other for granted, and to regularly practice gestures that demonstrate your love.

Also, you must remember that every marriage has its share of conflicts and arguments. That does not imply that the relationship no longer works, however, if things seem to be going downhill for some time, it is best to seek the help of a good marriage counselor.

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